Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

YouPorn will gift you a free premium membership if you get off (the couch) on Election Day

Be a superhero and vote!
Be a superhero and vote!
Screenshot: Batman XXX: A Porn Parody (YouTube)

Most of us learned in our middle school civics classes that a healthy, democratic society is incumbent on people making their voices heard through the electoral process. Most of us also learned around the same time that masturbation is a thing, and it totally rules. Judging from the state of the State, however, it looks like we as a country have unfortunately really leaned into the latter more than the former. Luckily, the gang over at YouPorn are looking to make you feel at least a little better about never getting around to reading A People’s History of the United States while somehow knowing the name of every single XXX parody film starring Lexi Belle.

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As Rolling Stone noted earlier this week, one of the internet’s leading purveyors of smut will offer a free one-month premium membership pass to anyone who sends proof—selfies at the polls, “I Voted” sticker photos, etc—of them making their voices heard at the ballot box. Presumably SFW evidence can be emailed to YouPorn’s “virtual brand ambassador” (a.k.a. an uncanny valley Vaporwave sexbot) at jedy@youporn.com, at which time the sex replicant will email you back with a promo code. The full press release on YouPorn’s (Safe For Work) announcement page can be found here.

So, uh, there you have it. Two ways to be self-satisfied on November 5.

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Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).

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