Screenshot: YouTube

By this point nearly every marketing trope has been exploited and undone by the rampant cynicism of our ever-crumbling society. One of the most successful marketing campaigns of the last decade was Domino’s apologizing for how shitty they used to be. Perhaps that’s why this video of a guy who couldn’t possibly care less if you buy this house will probably result in a litany of offers.

The video was posted by YouTube user Kyle Pitzo, who captions the video thusly:

Little background story on this video—my dad was doing a video tour for Zillow to sell my grandparents’ house. When he did the tour he needed my phone so I let him borrow it. He comes back with my phone and leaves me with this video. I cried laughing and had to upload it.

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We’re glad he did because this thing is endlessly quotable, whether it’s the would-be realtor, Joe Pitzo, describing the dining room as “where you eat like the fuckin’ pig slob you are” or the shower as “where you wipe your dirty fuckin’ ass.”

The video’s only two minutes, but still feels like a journey. “My mother and father they fuckin’ passed away, the bastards,” Pitzo says as a preamble to the house tour. Later, he even goes so far as to show off the spot where his dad apparently died. “Look at the stain on the fuckin’ floor,” he says, before immediately saying he won’t show off the closet because “fuck you.”

One can only assume the offers are pouring in, so homebuyers should spring on this thing now. Sure, somebody died there, but just look at those granite countertops.

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[via Digg]