Twitter—realizing that that the Internet still contained far too many hurdles between people’s money and the instant gratification they so desperately seek by spending it—has announced that users will now be able to directly purchase products from within tweets.
The company stated on its blog that, starting today, a small but growing number of Twitter users will see a “Buy” button attached to certain posts on the popular micro-blogging and awful celebrity site. Users who click the button will experience a brief unease about the rampant commercialization of the world they live in, before being taken to a page where they can ignore that unhappy feeling by shoving money at whatever crap it was they were being tweeted at about.
Twitter’s initial partners in this bold experiment to cut the rational parts of your brain out of the purchasing decision loop include brands like Home Depot, charities like DonorsChoose, and a variety of musicians, including Brad Paisley, Pharrell, and Eminem. The company will be working with online retailers Fancy, Stripe, Musictoday, and Gumroad—as well as the creeping sense that all your friends have this stuff, so you’d better buy it now NOW NOW DO IT BEFORE EVERYONE FINDS OUT YOU’RE NOT COOL—to facilitate the online transactions.