Lest we come across as ghouls or tabloid-chasers, we didn't immediately re-post the Internet scuttlebutt that comedian/Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange had attempted suicide. (The interview we ran with him had been scheduled to run this week for ages.) Anyway, more reputable sources (including AP and of course Stern himself) have confirmed the gruesome details: that Lange stabbed himself nine times with a 13-inch Wolfgang Puck knife. (Why the knife brand was noted or notable, I have no idea.) The good news is that Lange has apparently been discharged from the hospital already.