Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

World unites over need for Cats producers to #ReleaseTheButtholeCut

Illustration for article titled World unites over need for iCats/i producers to #ReleaseTheButtholeCut
Screenshot: Universal Pictures UK (YouTube)

Cats, the 2019 digital effects horrorshow musical that now feels like it was released in a different century, is back in the news. This is partly because it’s swept this year’s Razzie Awards, partly because it’s now available through VOD for anyone looking to spice up their nightmares with exciting new imagery, and partly because Cats is just the sort of cinematic accomplishment that will live forevermore in our culture, returning to the discourse at the slightest provocation.

Case in point: The #ReleaseTheButtholeCut hashtag that’s currently trending on Twitter, which, as a strikingly unnerving combination of words, we all knew in our heart of hearts must have something to do with Cats.


The origins of this choice hashtag stem from Ben Mekler voicing out collective desire to enjoy a “tell-all book about the making of Cats.” In response, Jack Waz tweeted that “a VFX producer friend of a friend” worked on the monumental project of “[removing] CGI buttholes that had been inserted months before” from the movie’s final release. “Somewhere out there,” Waz claims, “there exists a butthole cut of Cats.”

Is this true? Well, late last year director Tom Hooper did say that pre-release work had been done to alter the characters’ design. While this probably referred not to the entirety of the CGI finalizing effort, but to the monkish effort of blurring out cat anuses en masse, it really doesn’t matter either way. The concept of an earlier version of Cats filled to the brim with mutant feline-human assholes has winked its single eye at the world and the world has responded with incredible enthusiasm over the possibility of any minor chance that they might see the digital anuses of catified versions of distinguished thespians like Dame Judi Dench and Sir Ian McKellan.

The hashtag now spreading (don’t dwell on that word choice) around the internet is evidence of this. Aside from all endless supplies of nihilistic, horror-craving everyday freaks clamoring for its release, even celebrities like Rian Johnson and Paul Scheer have joined up in an effort to get the powers that be off their butthole-containing asses and release The People’s Cut.


Seth Rogen, following his decision to get high and document his journey through a Cats viewing last night, has also contributed his support for the cinematic butthole movement.


It’s impossible to see this new trend and not recognize that the masses have made their opinion clear: The Butthole Cut, regardless of the effect it may have on the psyches of those who bear witness to it, must be released as a public service.


Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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