To be clear, the whole reason to purchase food from Taco Bell is because you’re so tired/hungry/drunk that your self-respect is officially worth less than your insatiable need for instant cheap ground beef and soggy lettuce. But if for some reason you want to actually work for your shitty pseudo Mexican food, Josh and Mike Greenfield of the YouTube channel Brothers Green Eats have you covered. In their two-part cooking tutorial, they offer step-by-step instructs on how to make Taco Bell’s entire classic menu at home.
Their main thesis is that Taco Bell has gotten a little too ambitious as of late with its extreme Doritos-themed menu (we at The A.V. Club, however, have still found stuff to enjoy). So the Brothers Green want to bring things back to basics with recipes that are, admittedly, slightly healthier than you’d probably get at a real Taco Bell. The first video breaks down how to make key Taco Bell components like ground beef, refried beans (interestingly, the Brothers Green mash their own rather than just buying them in a can), “fire sauce,” and nacho cheese sauce (flour, butter, milk, and cheddar cheese). If there’s a secret ingredient it’s brown sugar, which surprisingly winds up in both their beef and beans.
Those basic ingredients, along with lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, and shredded cheddar cheese, constitute most of the Taco Bell menu items and the Brothers Green walk their viewers through the construction of tacos, Crunchwrap Supremes, and Mexican Pizzas. Meanwhile in part two, they explore the chicken and steak-centric menu items like quesadillas, gorditas, chalupas, and burritos. Plus they break down how to make the elusive Baja Sauce (a.k.a. creamy jalapeño sauce) at home. Along the way they also fit in plenty of dick jokes to ensure we know that these brothers are truly bros.