If you’ve ever wanted to dive deep into the greasepaint and guts behind the scenes of a Lady Gaga concert, Virgin Mobile is offering the chance with its “Little Local Monster” contest, where nine bloggers, amateur “video journalists,” or just ordinary fans who know how to post to YouTube can get backstage. Who knows what sorts of madcap magic goes on back there? It’s probably like a cross between a Gwar show and the studio lot scenes in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, with diaper-wearing cowboys and nuns with strap-on dildos strutting around. Anyway, all you have to do to find out is submit a one to two-minute video here explaining why your love for Lady Gaga is the most specialest love of all, and you could be one of the nine winners chosen to see how your blood-and-semen sausage is made, with opportunities to interview—well, not necessarily Gaga herself, but someone back there, like maybe the giant egg guy, or one of the diaper cowboys.

Perhaps even more interestingly, you’re guaranteed time with “Virgin Mobile's official Monster Ball Blogger, ‘Little Road Monster’ Dannielle Owens-Reid, the force behind Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber and Everyone Is Gay,” and you two can have a fine time sipping tea and talking about how Justin Bieber totally looks like a lesbian. And then you can bounce ideas off her for your own blog about Gassy Babies Who Look Like AC/DC’s Brian Johnson or whatever.