Imagine being the architect who oversaw the design and construction of the Death Star. First, you’d experience the pain of watching some moisture-farming rube from Tatooine take a three-pointer from the outside and blow up your magnum opus. Then, you would likely have to endure the perpetual indignity of being the guy who created such a vulnerable space station. At some point, you might get fed up with being treated like bantha fodder and feel the need to speak out on the subject.

The Dorkly YouTube channel has finally granted that much-maligned engineer an opportunity to defend himself. Speaking at length, the architect addresses the functional necessity of a exhaust ports, the improbability of Luke’s 90-degree torpedo shot, and why exhaust dynamics should have prevented anything from entering the port in the first place, much less traveling a mile down to the core.

After making a grounded argument, the engineer becomes more noticeably agitated at the topic of “space wizards,” a variable that could have been accounted for in the design stage, had their presence not been kept a shadowy secret. In fact, if the Emperor weren’t so keen on hiding Anakin Skywalker’s kids and obscuring the true identity of his right-hand Sith, maybe the Rebel Alliance wouldn’t be partying so hard back on Yavin. Of course, just try telling that to Emperor Palpatine; he’d probably shock you so hard that your skeleton would glow blue for a week.

Advertisement

[via Core77]