Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Why are people mistaking what is clearly an alien for a ghost in this security cam video?

Illustration for article titled Why are people mistaking what is clearly an alien for a ghost in this security cam video?
Screenshot: WKYC (Fair Use)

Sigh. How many times do we need to go through this with everyone? Listen up: Ghosts, contrary to popular opinion, are not real in any way, shape, or formless form. Aliens, on the other hand, are absolutely provable entities, and we will entertain no alternate opinions regarding the subject.

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A couple years ago, the Internet thought it amusing to assert that Dobby, the fictional magical house elf from the make-believe (and forever sullied) world of Harry Potter, made a cameo in a woman’s home security footage, when it was so obviously an extraterrestrial rummaging through her garbage cans. Now, people seem to think it’s funny to run that same goof again for yet another home recording of an outer space visitor.

As reported by local news channel, WKYC, Ohioans have recently been sharing images on social media of what they claim to be a potential ghost an obvious alien child sprinting down a neighborhood street. Around 10:40PM on March 10, local police in the town of Mentor arrived near the vicinity of Bellflower Elementary to look into reports of a 7-year-old girl running around the area. A child supposedly matching the description was spotted by one of the cops, who added they were “surprised by what I saw, the person appeared to be a small child, running rather erect and too quickly for a child.”

In the end, the suspect was never actually located, despite repeated searches of the area, leading to locals to muse on the incident’s supernatural nature. Which is absolute hogwash, because it’s clearly, unequivocally an alien toddler… perhaps even that same alien toddler from a couple of years ago, although we’re obviously hesitant to make such a potentially outlandish logical leap.

Send Great Job, Internet alien, not ghost, sightings to gji@theonion.com

[via BoingBoing]

Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).