In news that we here at The A.V. Club really want to take as a deliberate challenge despite the evidence that it won’t work out in our favor, in the wake of SNL’s suspension of writer Katie Rich for making an honestly pretty killer (no pun intended) joke about Barron Trump on Twitter, the White House has stepped forward to warn the American people not to make fun of Donald Trump’s 10-year-old son, even though he—Agh! Goddamn it! No!
Okay, so the statement was released via Twitter—no surprise there—via the office of press secretary and Dippin’ Dots hater Sean Spicer. It says:
It is a longstanding tradition that the children of Presidents are afforded the opportunity to grow up outside of the political spotlight. The White House fully expects this tradition to continue. We appreciate your cooperation in this matter.
Never mind that Rush Limbaugh called a then-12-year-old Chelsea Clinton “the family dog” back in 1992, just a few days after her dad’s electoral victory. (Barron Trump, on the other hand, is more like—No! Be strong! You like your job!) And let’s not forget the time that Elizabeth Lauten, communications director for Tennessee Republican rep Stephen Lee Fincher, said the Obama girls should “dress like you deserve respect, not a spot at the bar” after they dared to look bored at the annual White House turkey pardoning ceremony in 2014. (How is Barron Trump like a turkey? Because he’s—Fuck!!!!) No, we‘ve entered a new era of respect for your fellow man, as long as that man is actually a 10-year-old boy. The rest of us, as always, remain libtard cucks.