Everyone’s boring grandparent Walden Media (The Chronicles Of Narnia, Ramona And Beezus) longs for a time when video games still tried to teach kids things, instead of just getting off their back and letting them mow people down with machine guns. So for the first time since a proposed, late-'90s, Sandra Bullock version that never got off the ground, Deadline reports that the production company is developing a live-action film version of Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? with Jennifer Lopez, hoping to turn the educational software franchise into a “National Treasure meets The Thomas Crown Affair” mystery, though presumably with way more puns.

So far Lopez is only attached as producer, though she’s also being courted to star as Sandiego, a former member of the ACME Detective Agency who parlayed her espionage skills into founding the Villains’ International League of Evil (or V.I.L.E.), the elite group of thieves, female wrestlers, extraterrestrials, janitors, and robots whose master plan always involved stealing some inherently worthless geographical landmark. For example: the entire Mekong River. Why would anyone steal a river? How would anyone steal a river? And who's combing the black market, hoping to buy a river? Perhaps this film will finally address all that, preferably via a Rockapella interlude.