The weird thing about Fox’s minor singing series sensation The Masked Singer is that, for a certain category of “fan,” the show is typically over long before it ever gets to air. After all, if you’re not especially interested in a) watching C-list celebrities gamely singing from beneath 50 pounds of foam, or b), the half-assed guessing game that makes up the bulk of its judges duties—if, in fact, you just kind of want to look at the admittedly goofy and interesting costumes the show trots out every year—you’re pretty much done as soon as the first batch of images come rolling out of Fox’s PR.
So, hey: Who wants to “watch” the third season of The Masked Singer with us?
Let’s start with this year’s obvious stand-out from a strictly horror-based approach: This Taco, who appears to be what happens when Rotten Tomatoes and a bad misunderstanding of the concept of lettuce intersect. We are rooting for you, Taco, both because you are terrible to look at, and because someone involved in the show’s production is sabotaging you from the start.
This Cat is like five steps from being Skimbleshanks cosplay, and we can’t understand why they would deny us that.
Someone needs to get this wayward Astronaut back to his MTV VMA Award before Lil Nas X notices he’s missing!
We’re not caught up on the latest season of She-Ra, but we’re sure White Tiger learns some valuable lessons about friendship before its over.
This performer’s career will be cut short when he shouts “Jumanji!” halfway through a performance, causing him to be transported home at long last, confident that the real Masked Singer prize was the friends he made along the way.
Bjork is going to cut someone when she finds out they’re copying her look.
And finally: Can we just say that we love this one? Someone told someone else “Hey, make me a cool, fuckable iguana,” and that second person said “Yes.” That’s humanity, folks.
And that’s it for another amazing season of The Masked Singer! In other news, the show continues to refuse to go the easy route by picking costumes that there’s no chance that judge Jenny McCarthy might recognize, like the concept of herd immunity, or sound medical judgment.