Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

What horrors hath "Piano Man" wreaked upon these poor dogs?

Illustration for article titled What horrors hath Piano Man wreaked upon these poor dogs?
Photo: Aaron Davidson/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Music, like all art, is subjective: One person’s “Piano Man” is another person’s...well, “Piano Man.” For some, Billy Joel’s 1973 bar ballad staple is a classic ode to the downtrodden schmucks among us; for others, it’s the quintessential example of overly sentimental, tepid dad rock. Who’s to say which camp is right? It all comes down to personal opinion, and there is nothing any one side could say to convince the other is corre—

Good lord, what the hell kind of a response to a song is that?! All it took was two seconds of Joel tickling the ivory keys for those two huskies to launch into a deafening fugue state of canine emotion. To be honest, we can’t tell whether the hounds are pro-“Piano Man” or not, but either way, they are goddamn heated about it.

Advertisement

Much like the drunks at the end of your local bar (sigh, bars, remember those?), it doesn’t really matter what they’re shouting at us so much as how you respond to them. Do we indulge them in their rambling opinion on the meaning of “Piano Man” or do we ignore the two and hope they distract themselves with whatever song comes on next? Honestly, those dogs probably don’t give a rat’s ass about “Piano Man,” and are simply trying to con us into giving them some extra doggie treats on the house.

What we’re trying to say here is, we see through you and your con game, huskies.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).

Share This Story

Get our newsletter