Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

We're pleased to introduce Chicago's very own alligator, "Chance The Snapper"

Photo: Joe Raedle (Getty Images)

There is, we’re duty bound to tell you, a goddamned alligator in Chicago’s Humboldt Park Lagoon. It’s swimming around, peeking its creepy prehistoric eyes out of the water, and, by doing nothing more than being an alligator in Chicago, quickly establishing itself as one of the city’s most notable celebrities.

Spotted earlier this week, the gator is now the target of a man from the Chicago Herpetological Society who the Chicago Sun-Times introduces as “local wrangler ‘Alligator Bob.’” Alongside Bob’s tireless canoe surveillance and the traps filled with delicious rats, chicken, and fish he’s set, a “flying drone” has been “brought in to help search the lagoon.”

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Because it’s both an alligator with powerful jaws and living in Chicago, the scaly beast has been named Chance The Snapper—a fact that hasn’t gone unnoticed by some musician of no obvious relation.

Lil Chanogator has ignited the city’s curiosity, drawing crowds to the park and inspiring the creation of Twitter accounts like @ChanceDeSnapper, which curates the latest gator stories in character between discussions of lagoon trash and threats to eat people—especially its nemesis, Alligator Bob.

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A competing account—@ParkGator—is doing much the same, but has peppered its Alligator Bob call-outs with a promise to eat Chicago’s rich specifically.

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Chance The Snapper—believed to have been a former illegal pet abandoned by its shithead owner—will likely be rescued and given a new home before too much longer. Still, as inevitable as its capture is, we might need to settle in for at least a few more days. The latest update, reported by Block Club Chicago, describes the scaly champ as “getting comfortable” with its new home, venturing to different parts of the lagoon as it settles into its digs. Just in case it really decides to get cozy, onlookers may want to start sewing together Cubs sweaters and caps for The Snapper. If the gator’s going to stick around for the long haul, it best get to cheering the right teams.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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About the author

Reid McCarter

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.