A big version of this could be yours!
Photo: Amazon Studios

What would you do with a giant print of Joaquin Phoenix’s face? Like, for real. Would you paint clown makeup on it and turn it into a one-of-a-kind DIY poster for Joker? Would you frame it in one of those Banksy shredders so it automatically gets destroyed if a corporation tries to put a value on true art? Would you just put some of that sticky stuff on the back and hang it on the wall of your dorm? (Don’t use tacks, or the RA will get pissed.)

We honestly don’t care what you would do with it, but we’re giving away a 25-inch-by-48-inch print of Joaquin Phoenix’s face that Amazon Studios used to promote You Were Never Really Here (see above, but bigger), and it’ll go to the absolute luckiest person who emails their U.S. mailing address (no P.O. boxes, please) to avcontests@theonion.com with the subject line “you gotta be Joaquin” before 3 p.m. CT today. Seriously, we don’t need to know what you’ll do with the print, but start putting some serious thought into it before you send that email. You don’t want to suddenly find a giant picture of Joaquin Phoenix on your doorstep and not have any idea of where to put it.

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If you’d like to see Joaquin Phoenix’s face in action, You Were Never Really Here will be on Amazon Prime on October 26. Our own A.A. Dowd called it “ferociously beautiful” in his review.