We all laughed when the holograms arrived. We joked about Coachella’s Tupac. We smirked at hologram Elvis. We even made jokes when they unleashed a 40-foot-tall holographic Mary J. Blige, despite the fact that she was nearly seven times larger than Mary J. Blige Prime. And now, we see where all our holo-goofs have gotten us: The end of the road, where hologram Rob Thomas is king.
Paste is reporting that the former Matchbox 20 frontman is offering a “holographic karaoke” experience to fans who purchase a VIP package to his latest tour. These computer-loving Quislings will be given a chance to perform with an actual fake holo-Rob, although it’s not clear exactly how the interaction will go down. According to Paste, “the ‘hologram karaoke fan experience’ first lets fans select one of three songs by Thomas. A hologram of the fan then appears on stage next to the Thomas hologram, and they perform the chosen song together as a duet.” So, basically, you’ll get to watch a hologram of yourself pretend to interact with a hologram of Rob Thomas, while the real Rob Thomas sits down to dinner somewhere, far from the sorts of people who would pay to party with a picture of himself.
And while we’re not sure how many semi-robotic iterations of “Her Diamonds” we can take, we can’t wait for this technology to catch on in more traditional karaoke venues. After all, the only thing that could make watching your drunken friends half-ironically belt out “Sweet Caroline” better would be watching them jam out with Neil Diamond’s digital ghost. Meanwhile, hologram Rob Thomas will be out there somewhere, a ghost in the machine, begging his fans to “Give me your—give—give me your heart. Give me your heart. Make it real.”
And then forget about it.