On the doubly romantic combination of Valentine’s and President’s Day weekend, in which the movies crossed decades just to reunite America with what was once its one true love—the 1980s—audiences spurned three remakes from the Ronald Reagan era in favor of little socialist blocks from Denmark. The LEGO Movie continued to hold its No. 1 spot to triumph over second- and third-place finishers About Last Night ($27 million), an update of the 1986 romantic comedy about the tricky relationship between men and women, and RoboCop ($21.5 million), an update of the 1987 dark comedy about the tricky relationship between cops and robots.
Meanwhile, the remake of 1981’s Endless Love, about the tricky relationship between two melodramatic teenage movie clichés, opened in fifth place with $13.4 million (and seems likely to fall quickly without the added boost of a Diana Ross/Lionel Richie duet). “Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Or is this burning an eternal flame?” these 1980s remakes asked America, to which America replied that, oh yeah, they sort of remembered hearing that old song at the grocery store, before shrugging and walking away.
Audiences also cruelly rejected the weekend’s other story of time-crossed romance, Akiva Goldsman’s Winter’s Tale, which opened in seventh place at $7.8 million. Box Office Mojo notes that the film—adapted from the 1983 novel, as well as the Trapper Keeper doodles of unicorn-obsessed little girls—marks yet another disappointment for Colin Farrell, who was literally like, “Fuck it, I’ll ride a Pegasus over New York” in this movie, and thus should at least be commended for going for broke in his continuing attempts to make audiences love him. Especially since Farrell already learned—well before this weekend—that you can’t just “remake” a relationship.
For more detailed numbers, see Box Office Mojo.