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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

We never thought we'd say this, but, please, listen to Gene Simmons

Illustration for article titled We never thought wed say this, but, please, listen to Gene Simmons
Photo: Paul Morigi (Getty Images)

We normally wouldn’t encourage you to listen to celebrities speaking out on our current crisis, what with Woody Harrelson out here spreading 5G conspiracy theories. But, and we’re as surprised as you, it appears Gene Simmons actually made some good points the other day.

This stunning development in the pandemic saga comes after the KISS co-founder, bassist, and generally unpleasant dude took a break from trying to trademark rock n’ roll’s devil horns gesture to issue a rare, well-phrased statement of common sense, perspective, and safety via TMZ.

After being approached to comment on this whole crazy affair and its many burdens, Simmons was eerily frank, well-mannered, and—dare we say it—humble.


“What’s the burden? The burden ain’t much of anything. We should all shut up and get over ourselves, and that includes yours truly,” said Simmons, which we’ll believe when we see.

After proceeding to put things in historical perspective by reminding us that, you know, people have sacrificed a lot more for public’s safety in the past, he then went on to add, “...While you’re busy eating your pizzas and your burgers and all that stuff, there are people who are risking their lives to bring food to you at home...The well-meaning religious people who hold religious stuff, it’s, like, you’re not listening to the same God I am. God is saying, ‘Stay home, don’t go to church.’” (We hope you’re listening, lady covered in Jesus’ blood.)

All that said, we’re assuming Hulk Hogan would argue otherwise, because—and we cannot type this more solemnly—this is the week that both Hulk Hogan and Gene Simmons weighed in on a deadly, globe-threatening pandemic. 

[via Consequence of Sound]

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Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).

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