Oh God. There are a few more hours, and then we can all start drinking, and that will feel good, and then it will all be over—either this ceaseless assault on our national dignity or the American experiment itself. Either way, the end is nigh.
Time will not tick any faster in the intervening hours, though, which means that roiling pit in your stomach will have to roil for a while longer. It’s good that the internet is conspiring to provide you with calming videos in the interim.
The Mary Sue dug up this video designed to calm stressed-out house pets, featuring Doctor Who’s David Tennant speaking in vague abstractions over a calming new-age soundtrack. If that sounds busy, it’s not: Gentle electronic burbles and peaceful images wash over each other as Tennant urges us to “look a little harder through the glass,” alongside more Lynchian abstractions, such as “Beyond the swaying branches, into the deep pools of swirling mystery in every home and heart, not all adds up.” There are also purring cats sounds. It is very good.
Here is a video meditation not for cats but about them. Alongside images of cats, it features directives such as, “Now coming to this beautiful ginger cat. And then bring your attention to the purring of this ginger cat.” Later, you look at a pile of sleeping kittens and are asked to consider their ears. It is very good.
RuPaul’s Drag Race contestant Kennedy Davenport delivers a series of gently insulting affirmations over trilling flutes in this video. To wit: “I recommend a natural pose, which for many of you will mean spreading your legs like peanut butter.” It is designed to be funny, and so it is just pretty good, but maybe it’s good enough for you. There’s no need to argue about meditation.
CBS News notes that “2 percent of American adults report that the 2016 election is a very or somewhat significant source of stress,” a fact it shares alongside such helpful anxiety-quenching tips as: vote, be prepared, don’t be a dick on social media, and “remember that life will go on.” Consider, instead, watching one of the above videos, then drinking as early as possible.