Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The Second City Network reminded the world yesterday that Stephen Colbert has always been the man we know and love, even if he wasn’t in love at the time.

In a May 1994 video from his last night at Second City, Colbert sings a duet with Jenna Jolovitz that is pretty true to Colbert fashion. The performance, which can represent the trial period of a new fling or the fizzling of a long-term relationship, chronicles the aftermath of an “okay, wasn’t awful” date. From arguing about the material of a swing, to rating each other a “solid” five out of 10, the skit is full of frank lyrics that make the audience laugh.


The tune is outlined with variations of the chorus, “If I loved you I’d sing you a love song, if I loved you I’d give you the moon / If I loved you I’d sing you a love song, but I don’t,” though the lines in between are just as cheeky. “When I close my eyes, I can’t describe your face / If you committed a crime, I couldn’t pick you out in a lineup,” Colbert and Jolovitz sing in unison. “Oh well, I want to kiss someone / Hey, do you have a friend?”

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