Mike Bloomberg, the billionaire stop-and-frisk advocate who hired some Fyre Fest alums to turn him into a meme, debuted on the Democratic debate stage last night as a gaping sinkhole of charisma that nearly everyone was happy to fill with lit sticks of dynamite. Bloomberg, a Jeffrey Epstein associate and noted Trump fan whose history as a sexist creep resembles our current president’s, was immediately set upon by both Bernie Sanders, who interrogated the racial discrimination inherent to some of the former New York City mayor’s policies, and Elizabeth Warren, who incinerated him on several different occasions over his documented sexism.
“I’d like to talk about who we’re running against: a billionaire who calls women fat broads and horse-faced lesbians,” Warren said in the opening minutes. “No, I’m not talking about Donald Trump—I’m talking about Michael Bloomberg.”
“This is not just a question of the mayor’s character,” Warren continued. “This is also a question about electability. We are not going to beat Donald Trump with a man who has who knows how many non-disclosure agreements and the drip, drip, drip of stories of women saying they have been harassed and discriminated against. That’s not what we do as Democrats.”
It was those non-disclosure agreements, some of them from women who accused him of sexual harassment, that were a sticking point for Warren. “If they wish now to speak out and tell their side of the story about what it is they alleged, that’s now okay with you?” Warren asked. “You’re releasing them on television tonight?”
Bloomberg, who said that he was being accused of nothing more than telling jokes—they must not have been very funny—said he would not release them from the agreements. “They signed those agreements and we’ll live with it,” he said, a rising pool of puke bubbling in his throat.
Watch it below.
Bloomberg, so desperate to become a meme, is currently getting slotted into ones he probably hoped to avoid. The best was one of the simplest—Twitter user @AyoTristan simply slipped the beat from Nas’ JAY-Z-dissing 2001 single “Ether” under the clip of Warren’s attack. It’s a fitting choice, as Warren most assuredly embraced him with napalm.
Similarly, the clip was cut with the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme, highlighting the existential despair Bloomberg no doubt felt in the moment.
And the Titanic theme, should the moment have you swooning.
Mike’s team is already doing damage control with some “funny” videos of their own, but they’re likely to crumble beneath the impact of so many dunks.
Good luck memeing your way out of this one, pal.
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