Every weekday morning, an A.V. Club staffer sifts through the popular viral videos of the day for Videocracy, inevitably encountering the latest clip from a handful of vloggers whose huge subscriber numbers guarantee their ascendance on the chart. They are, with maybe one or two exceptions—we generally like Natalie, who acts out bits of observational comedy with her adorable self—the most irritating people on the planet. The most irritating of all: The spazzy adolescent character known simply as Fred, whose signature touch is a speeded-up chipmunk voice. In fact, whenever one of his videos surfaces, we simply write “Warning: Fred,” just to keep from having to watch it ourselves.
Well, guess who has a new movie in the works? According to this terrifying story in the New York Times, 16-year-old Lucas Cruikshank, the rural Nebraskan responsible for Fred, has teamed up with Norbit director Brian Robbins to bring Fred’s story to the big screen. There’s a subtle “Are you for real?” tone to the article, particularly in the less-than-enthusiastic quotes from the people involved. (Vulture has a very funny rundown today.) Look for the movie next year at a theater near you. Or on pay-per-view. Or DVD. Or chopped up into brutally unfunny five-minute bits.