Daredevil

Deadline is reporting that Vincent D’Onofrio and Breaking Bad’s Dean Norris have both signed on to the Death Wish remake. Directed by Eli Roth, the film is expected to star Bruce Willis as a sort of grizzled genie who loves to grant wishes—as long as those wishes are for death.

Okay, so that’s probably just Death Wishful thinking. Instead, the Roth-directed film will probably just be an even-more-violent retread of the old Charles Bronson vigilante splatterfests, except with Willis in the role of Paul Kersey, a mild-mannered architect-turned-architect of death. (We’ll be honest: we’re kind of addicted to ending sentences with death right now.) D’Onofrio will play Willis’ brother, while Norris plays a police detective. Going off his past track record, though, it’ll probably take Norris’ character a while—and some aggressively placed clues—for him to crack the case. But once we does, we’re sure he’ll be plenty surprised.

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Surprised to death. (Wish.)