Diesel, about to go ride his motorcycle through a coral reef or some shit.
Photo: Paramount Pictures

Lovable lunkhead Vin Diesel has seized the means of action-movie production, announcing in a press release yesterday evening that he and his One Race Films have partnered with American-Chinese film company H Collective to buy the rights to his xXx franchise, where he is the biggest, baddest, and baldest dude on set and no one calls him a candy ass.

This announcement came bundled with the announcement of a fourth xXx film—titled, for now, simply xXx 4—directed by DJ Caruso, who also helmed last year’s absolutely ridiculous xXx: Return Of Xander Cage. In the release, H Collective CEO Nic Crawley says, “During my time at Paramount I was lucky to be involved in the development and distribution of xXx: Return Of Xander Cage. The response from the Chinese box office was unprecedented,” so expect another Chinese actor (or actress) to co-star a là Donnie Yen’s appearance as the villainous Xiang in the last xXx movie.

Now all that’s left to figure out is how Diesel will top snow skiing through the jungle (see below) and riding his motorcycle across large bodies of water like a goddamn action-movie Jesus. Time to crush a couple of Monster energy drinks and get to work, screenwriters.