Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Vanilla Ice cancels extremely ill-conceived July 4 concert in Texas

Illustration for article titled Vanilla Ice cancels extremely ill-conceived July 4 concert in Texas
Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez (Getty Images)

Vanilla Ice was supposed to hold a big Fourth Of July concert this weekend in Lake Travis, Texas, with the venue—Emerald Point Bar & Grill—managing to skirt the state’s ban on bars and nightclubs because at least half of its sales are from food (making it a “restaurant”). Because of that, despite the ongoing pandemic, it’s allowed to open to 50 percent capacity, which would mean about 2,500 potential attendees for this concert. Just imagine: 2,500 Vanilla Ice fans standing too close together, possibly breathing on each other, possibly getting each other sick, then possibly getting other people sick, and then possibly wiping out the entire human race because of a fucking Vanilla Ice concert. Christ.

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But, against all odds, wisdom has prevailed! Today, Mr. Ice himself posted a video on Instagram in which admits that the concert may have been a bad idea and that he had no idea the coronavirus statistics were so bad in Texas (he and Jared Leto get their news from the same place, apparently), so he has decided not to go through with it. He says the concert was booked a long time ago under the assumption that things would be better by July 4, but seeing as how they are not, he didn’t want to ask his fans to risk anything by going.

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Just yesterday, before Vanilla Ice realized that the coronavirus was as bad as it is, the Austin Chronicle reported that Ice was promoting the concert on Instagram by saying he was going to take the crowd back to the ‘90s, when they “didn’t have coronavirus, or cell phones, or computers.”

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