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Val Kilmer would like to make a sequel to Top Gun and to Heat and also to marry Natalie Portman, please

While the world, let’s say, waits to see whether Top Gun 2 will still come to fruition in the wake of Tony Scott’s death, its tail-rider Val Kilmer has confirmed he would definitely be up for reliving one of his most successful movies, thank you. “I think it wouldn't be that difficult to maintain the spirit of it,” Kilmer recently told Larry King, fairly confident that a sequel would honor the original’s essence of relentless jingoism crossed with homoeroticism so long as there are still big-ass fighter planes and shirtless volleyball scenes.

And, seeing as he was just speculating about unlikely sequels no one asked for anyway, Kilmer then moved on to his proposal for a follow-up to Michael Mann’s Heat, really stepping up the fantasizing by suggesting that, this time, he gets to marry Natalie Portman, who was all of 14 in the first one:

"Here's my pitch," Kilmer said. "You remember Natalie Portman in it? She's Pacino's adopted daughter, so she comes home and says, 'Daddy, daddy, I want you to meet my fiancé.' And it's me. He's retired and I come to Chicago where he's retired back to and I'm going to torture him, and then I'm going to kill him."


Kilmer stopped his pitch just short of saying that, after he tortures and kills Al Pacino, he and Natalie Portman make love in a jacuzzi while they watch The Doors, because he lives in a giant house with a big-screen TV in every room, and then his robot butler brings them waffles—presumably because, as an entertainer, he is always wary of spoilers.

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