(NOTE: A previous version of this article referred to the Miss America pageant as being owned by Donald Trump. This was incorrect; Trump owns the Miss USA pageant, not Miss America.)
As much fun as it is to rake legitimate presidential candidate and amateur sexual assault philosopher Donald Trump over the coals—for his terrible opinions, for his pathological need for attention, for his Oompa-Loompa-esque complexion—it’s also important to take a look at all the accidental good he’s brought into the world. Think back on the pleasure he’s given so many of the world’s great political satirists, or any of the hundreds of nights when Apprentice-induced boredom caused a couple to turn their TV off and reconnect, rekindling a withered love. As per a recent Huffington Post article by actress America Ferrera, Donald Trump is the master of motivating good things to happen out of spite, an inspirational figure capable of amazing inadvertent good. In the essay, “Thank You, Donald Trump!”, the Ugly Betty actress and cartoon dragon tamer offered her gratitude to The Donald for his work in mobilizing America’s Latino voters, utilizing the tried-and-true tactic of calling them and their families rapists.
“You see, what you just did with your straight talk was send more Latino voters to the polls than several registration rallies combined! Thank you for that. Here we are pounding the pavement to get American Latinos to the polls, while your tactic proves most effective. Remarks like yours will serve brilliantly to energize Latino voters and increase turnout on election day against you and any other candidate who runs on a platform of hateful rhetoric.”
Ferrera, who is herself of Honduran descent, goes on to lay out the statistical power of the Latino community, citing its low median age of 27 and rapidly increasing growth—a process that can only continue, now that people have “pissing off Donald Trump” to use as the ultimate procreative goad.
Of course, Trump-hate isn’t just good for the civic-minded; it’s also a boon to business. As noted by Ferrera, the real estate mogul’s presidential campaign has seen a new market for Trump-shaped piñatas open up south of the border, in the kind of licensing goldmine the maverick businessman will be sure to capitalize on soon (especially since his previous ones have run into a bit of trouble). In fact, if Trump could fully harness his amazing power to unite pretty much the entire world—barring the Reelz network, and those workers who derive their livelihoods from the Covering Everything You Own In Gold industry—against him, he might have a shot at going down in history as the most unintentionally positive political force this country’s ever seen.