A few weeks back, we reported on the case of Noah Maloney, a man who is eating a picture of Jason Segel every day until Jason Segel eats a picture of him. As for why, Maloney told Munchies, “He’s a good actor. I liked The Muppets. I cannot stress enough that this is not fueled by anything.”
And so now Maloney is continuing down his lonely path, fueled by nothing but eating pictures of Jason Segel as he goes, now for 20 days straight. To his credit, he is finding interesting variations on the theme. In the early going, he filmed a video getting a tattoo of the words “JASON SEGEL” before eating a picture of the This is 40 star’s face. It’s sort of disturbing watching him quietly masticate the colored print-out for several minutes, then intoning directly to the camera, “Hi, Jason.”
He’s upped the ante from there. Here, for example, he does it in front of a wall of dildos:
He blends it into a smoothie. He eats one on the daily news. He goes on stage, he times himself with a stopwatch. Each time he looks up and says hi to the Sex Tape star who, as of this writing, has not commented on the eating of his face.
He eats a Segel in front of a choir of damned Segels, perhaps representing the countless more Segel printouts that Maloney will sacrifice in his quest for acknowledgment.
And then he says, “Hi, Jason.” Won’t you say hi back, Jason? Won’t you end this destruction?