Noted life coach and faceless skeleton man Skeletor was not always a quiet font of self-affirmation and love. In the past, when his focus was less on transforming himself into a more perfect Skeletor and more on crushing both foolish musclebrain He-Man and all of Eternia under his purple-booted heel, the sorcerer was prone to lashing out at those around him with cunningly-crafted putdowns. And now, thanks to a supercut of Skeletor’s best burns put together by DreamWorksTV, you, too, can have the power of hurting other people’s feelings. As penned by bored He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe writers like Paul Dini and J. Michael Straczynski and expertly screeched with a mixture of rage, annoyance, and self-pity by veteran voice actor Alan Oppenheimer, these insults are the perfect way to let everyone you know understand exactly how much they’ve been letting you down lately. Referring to your boss as an “overgrown alley cat” or calling your parents “a pathetic pair of pitiful pinheads” might not endear you to them, or help you on your journey to self-actualization, but it will give you the sort of self-confidence that leads to assaulting castles in skin-tight purple armor and declaring anyone who crosses you a boob.

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