Every day I start my Newswire shift hoping against hope that there won't be another lame remake or sequel to report on, but today is obviously not that day: Keanu Reeves has signed on to star in a "reimagining" of the sci-fi classic The Day The Earth Stood Still, playing the humanoid alien Klaatu who arrives to warn Earth's leaders that their aggression and violence will lead to annihilation from a distant world. I was going to make a lazy, "Klaatu barada nikt-whoa" joke, but I find myself suddenly overcome with despair.

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