Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

U.S. government establishes first-ever task force to combat piracy

Hoping for the same swift victories it’s brought to the wars on drugs and terror, the federal government has established its first-ever task force to combat the threat of piracy—the stealing movies and TV shows kind, not the kidnapped by Somalis kind. “To state it very bluntly, piracy hurts," Vice President Joe Biden said during a White House press conference, possibly while dangling something distractingly shiny, adding, "It hurts our economy, our health and our safety.” Also, it’s something that doesn’t require plugging a giant hole in the world. To help him in his endeavor, Biden will hire 15 new assistant district attorneys and 20 FBI special agents whose sole job it will be to reclaim the estimated $20.5 billion lost annually to piracy, and make sure Americans can sleep soundly knowing that no one’s out there selling bootleg Toy Story 3 DVDs.


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