Photo: Brendan Smialowski/Getty

In the wake of Utah representative Jason Chaffetz’s announcement that he would not be seeking reelection in 2018, pundits and conspiracy theorists alike were scrambling to analyze the implications of such a move and provide their followers with the freshest, hottest take. Late last night, one brave analyst (and comedy writer) emerged from the pack with the definitive Twitter thread that finally and completely explains what’s really going on behind the scenes in Washington.

Prepare to have your mind blown!

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Bearing all the hallmarks of a very important and essential read, the thread draws some pretty devastating conclusions from a collection of facts one might think are coincidental. Like the fact that Chaffetz, a.k.a. the government’s number one police detective, works in Washington, D.C., right by where Donald Trump also works. Getting scared yet?

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Right around tweet number 18 is where things get really interesting thanks to some exclusive info straight from the mouth of presidential advisor Jared Kushner. It’s no wonder this thread is getting attention from some pretty influential thinkers.

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How is the FBI not all over this?

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Wow. Just, wow.