Twitter’s “gay intern” made it abundantly clear back in March that the social media platform was aware that its upcoming “Fleets” feature shared a name with the queer community’s favorite brand of enema. Still, it remains giggle-worthy that the company is sticking with the name as it prepares to roll out Fleet functionality across the globe.
Fleets, if you’ve forgotten, are Twitter’s answer to Snapchat and Instagram Stories, ephemeral posts not subject to likes, RTs, and brutal, soul-crushing ratios. In a twist befitting the dunk-a-thon that Twitter often devolves into, the company is even framing Fleets as a “safer” means of posting.
“We’ve learned that some people feel more comfortable joining conversations on Twitter with this ephemeral format, so what they’re saying lives just for a moment in time,” Joshua Harris, a Twitter director of design, told the New York Times. “We can create a space with less pressure that allows people to express themselves in a way that feels a bit more safe.”
Translation: You can say Parks And Recreation is overrated, actually, or that Joe Biden shouldn’t cancel all student loan debt without worrying about the wave of mockery that will soon consume your entire feed. After 24 hours, the post fades into the ether, leaving you alone and unbruised with your horrible opinions. (In all seriousness, though, don’t Fleet the posts you’re afraid to post—just don’t post.)
Not everyone can post a Fleet just yet, but Shameless star Emmy Rossum can. She... doesn’t seem so enthused.
Oh, Emmy, you’ll get used to it. We all will. Trump, too. He’ll Fleet out a Fleet about how he won the election and Twitter will have to put a disclaimer on his Fleet. The cycle begins anew.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to email@example.com