Photo: Brian Brainerd (Getty Images)

For anyone still waking up hearing the reality-bending scream that ended Twin Peaks: The Return, an upcoming, ridiculously long podcast is here to help soothe your mind. Over the course of 18 goddamned hours, film critics Darren Mooney and Andrew Quinn will raise money for the Irish Cancer Society’s annual Daffodil Day donation drive through the time-tested charity method of talking exhaustively about Twin Peak’s third season.

A full schedule of talking points has been drawn up, probably in an attempt to fend off the inevitable fog-brained ramblings that would set in after a few hours of straight poddin’. Topics include a discussion of “David Lynch’s filmography, and The Return’s place in it,” a look into “Cooper, masculinity (and apparently Wally Brando),” a 5 a.m. chat on “Laura Palmer and the trope of the dead girl, and the engagement of The Return with that,” and a whole lot else that would require a lot of brain work to adequately address, even for people who hadn’t been awake and jawing into microphones for most of a day.

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Alongside Mooney and Quinn, who host the film podcast The 250, will be a range of guests, from other critics to Irish actor Amy Shiels (The Return’s Candie), who are set to contribute to each hour’s discussion topic.

If you have a spare bulk of the day to spend pondering gold shovels and the ultimate evil of the atomic bomb, check out the podcast starting at 8am EST tomorrow (Saturday, March 23rd). Visit The 250's event page for more information, and hit up the fundraising page here if you, like a pure-hearted Dougie Jones, would like to pitch in to a worthy cause.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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