It’s not easy being a wizard; your weapons usually blow, you get a blanket that’s supposed to pass for armor, and you wind up being wrong about your boss making more Tolkien movies. The hardest thing may be having to live or die by the quality of your spells.

This finer point of sorcery is not lost on The Worst DM, who reinvigorated the hashtag #RejectedSpells just in time for the upcoming release of the 5th edition of the Dungeons And Dragons Dungeon Master’s Guide. Parodying the peculiar syntax of the game’s nomenclature, these spells will entertain those who know their way around a icosahedron, but make no mistake: They will get your player killed. And probably your entire party.

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Detect Magic Johnson #RejectedSpells

— wissdom (@wissdom) December 5, 2014

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