In news that will undoubtedly have fans wishing for the sweet touch of a chainsaw, TV Land has announced plans to adapt the dark comedy of Heathers for a new generation of high-school students with a serious case of implicit egotism. The network is developing a “comedic” anthology series based on the 1989 film that will subvert the hierarchy from the original—this new group of Heathers (yes, the name will remain the same) will consist of teen outcasts like a “black lesbian…a male who identifies as gender-queer whose real name is Heath” and another Heather with “a body like Martha Dumptruck.” (We’re pretty sure those character descriptions won’t ruffle any feathers.)
The move is part of TV Land’s strategy to reach a younger audience, who will presumably be heartened to learn that one person’s outcast is another’s bully (assuming they weren’t already aware). The adaptation comes from Tom Rosenberg and Gary Lucchesi, who have produced multiple Underworld movies together in addition to The Boy and The Lincoln Lawyer. Jason Micallef (Butter) s set to write the series, and will presumably draw from his Play-Doh movie experience to ensure that the Heathers teens are malicious and malleable.
You might recall that the threat of a Heathers series loomed at Bravo for a while, but the network’s plans to have a grown Veronica Sawyer (played by Winona Ryder in the original) help her daughter navigate the snark-infested waters of high school were scrapped about three years ago. That news was a bit of a relief, because the series would have centered on a group of “Ashleys,” which is nowhere near as menacing a name as Heather (whoever heard of poisonous Ashley?). Also, the average high school probably has something like 100 Ashleys, which would have undermined the exclusivity of the clique.