Don’t worry, Tucker: Ol’ Billy Ray Cyrus will always have a skillet ready for ya.
Photo: Rob Kim (Getty Images)

You can now add Fox News host Tucker Carlson’s name to the list of conservatives whose outside-the-home dining options now come with a family style (and complementary) serving of “Consequences.” Carlson complained on a recent podcast appearance that he can no longer eat in public without people yelling at him all the dang time, joining a wide variety of famous conservatives—including Sarah Sanders, Ted Cruz, and Department Of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen—whose efforts to grab some grub among the people who quietly hate them have gotten a lot less quiet of late. Carlson didn’t say what, exactly, these people are yelling at him all the time—“Way to deflect attention from Trump’s family separations with a paranoid rant about liberals killing the American family!” for instance, or “Pointing out that all of the GOP’s senators on the Kavanaugh’s hearing were old angry white dudes is not the start of a ‘race war,’ jackass!”—but apparently it really puts him off his steak.

Carlson released this tragic tale of bistro indignity during an appearance on the National Review podcast, noting that, “I don’t feel threatened, but having someone scream, ‘Fuck you!’ at a restaurant, it just wrecks your meal.” Carlson notes that he now only has a single restaurant he’s comfortable going to anymore, and “can’t wait for this revolution to end, so I can go back out to dinner.” And really, we have to ask: When will our country’s persistent dinner-time persecution of rich TV hosts stop? We’re down to a single restaurant at this point, people! And god knows Chef can’t handle another night of the family dining in.

Advertisement

It is, in fact, shades of the hordes who spent decades mocking Carlson for his former favorite affectation, the bowties he smugly sported for years on TV, and which gave the rest of us an easy mnemonic to help remember to ignore every single thing he ever said. (“If the tie is long, get along. If the tie is a bow, you’re hurting America, you know.”) Tragically, Carlson took that particular ball of shattered dignity and went home back in 2006, later telling Alex Jones that, “if you wear a bow tie, it’s like [wearing] a middle finger around your neck; you’re just inviting scorn and ridicule ... the number of people screaming the F-word at me ... it wore me down after a while.”

So honestly, you’d think he’d be used to it by now.

[via The Hollywood Reporter]

Advertisement