Hey, remember when Trump tried to buy Greenland back in August via a diplomatic intermediary who previously starred in something called Death Stalker And The Warriors From Hell, a film so awful it can be found in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000? No, of course you don’t. That’s, like, the 10th-least insane thing he’s done in the past few months.
Well, has Trump’s team learned from that embarrassment, and since proceeded more carefully with its new hires? You tell us after watching this video about Paula White, Trump’s “personal pastor and spiritual adviser,” who we can’t believe isn’t a Righteous Gemstones character. She’s just officially become a White House employee.
White, a self-described “former messed-up Mississippi girl who lived in a trailer” has long been a player in the realm of prosperity gospel, an odious sect of Christianity that encourages parishioners to pump their money into the church because God will most surely ensure they get it back tenfold. In the above montage from NowThis, she casually demands $100,000 while warning that “your dream will die” if you don’t empty your pockets. Kanye West must love her.
White, unsurprisingly, flies around in a multimillion dollar private jet, owns a $3.5 million condo in Trump Tower, and, oh, was also investigated back in 2007 by the Senate Finance Committee for misuse of donations. At least we can rest easy knowing that she’s almost certainly just a simple prop employed by Trump to help shore up his desperately needed evangelical voting bloc, and wields no actual power over there.
Oh, wait. She’s recently been named an adviser for the Faith And Opportunity Initiative, which is apparently designed to give religious organizations more of a say in governmental programs. One hopes she’ll call upon a breadth of faith communities, ones that properly represent the religious diversity of the U.S. One may also, however, have recently watched Netflix’s The Family docuseries.
Well, at least one of Paula’s sermons seems to ring true right now…
Send Great Job, Internet tips to email@example.com