Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Trump reportedly stinking up White House with fast food

Illustration for article titled Trump reportedly stinking up White House with fast food
Photo: Pool (Getty Images)

Donald Trump is a connoisseur of the finer things in life, from fast food banquets to high-efficiency toilets capable of flushing away his horrifying fast-food dumps. It’s not surprising, then, that a sad, post-election Trump would spend his time reorienting himself around the things that give him joy, like fine dining and being a nasty old baby who can’t help stinking up his room.

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According to The Daily Mail (which we’re obviously taking with more than a few grains of salt), a source in the White House says Trump has been stewing over Biden’s win by planning ways to keep contesting the election results, all while eating mountains of fast food with his pals. “Insiders described the atmosphere inside the West Wing as ‘manic, exuberant, energized, and toxic,’” the article says. “Some staff [are] lighting rose-scented candles in an attempt to soften the environment—and to combat the smell of fast food delivered to the President and his inner circle.”

Screenshot: Netflix
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This same source says Trump doesn’t have a “concession speech ready and [has] no intention of recognizing Joe Biden’s presidency,” even by attending his inauguration, and that Melania and Barron have “stayed in their private quarters” throughout the stinky hamburger conferences.

We know that tabloids aren’t the most reliable of sources, but it’s so easy to imagine Trump sulking around the White House like a stinky, greasy-lipped Nosferatu that we’re inclined to believe The Daily Mail on this one. There also doesn’t seem to be a more fitting conclusion to the Trump presidency than him whining about his loss to the bitter end and leaving behind a White House thick with the smells of old fast food and oily farts.

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[via Raw Story]

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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