Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
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On Thursday, the Senate formally began its impeachment trial of our president, Donald J. Trump. Trump responded with a perfect tweet that declared he “JUST GOT IMPEACHED FOR MAKING A PERFECT PHONE CALL.”

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That call, of course, was the July 25 one between him and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, in which Trump urged Zelensky to investigate his political rivals, specifically former Vice President Joe Biden. So, no, his call was not perfect. This tweet, however, is. At least in the pantheon of Trump tweets. Because there are bad Trump tweets, such as when he stirs up racist sentiment via false or out-of-context claims. There are Fox News retweets/quotes, of course. There are boring tweets, clearly not written by him. But then there are good tweets, like when he calls his opponents things like “Little Marco” and “Mini Mike,” which is just objectively funny.

This is a perfect tweet, though. It literally only makes Trump look bad, serving as a pitch-perfect representation of Trump’s entire crusade of transparent, put-upon victimhood, this blubbery, clenched-fist, foot-stomping whininess. As AOC so perfectly puts it, it exudes very strong ‘Mom, yell at my teacher to bump my grade up’ energy.”

It’s also endlessly malleable in terms of its memeability, which was proven almost immediately as a variety of different meme formats glommed onto the tweet. There’s the Trump-inspired classic, of course:

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And the “let’s put this in historical context” set-up:

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But, like all perfect statement tweets, it also lent itself to the “roses are red” format, resulting in a number of literary triumphs.  

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It was similarly envisioned in musical terms. The emo rendition, however, will have to wait until he bellows it at one of his rallies.

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The most prevalent tweets, however, set the tweet against any number of iconic phone-orbiting moments from pop culture, including its very invention.

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The most apt comparison, however?

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Transcending the meme, it even spawned a discussion around what constitutes a “perfect phone call.”

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Perhaps the best response, though, is the one that doesn’t take it seriously at all. Because, as we all learn sometime in life, to remain calm is the best way to deal with the hysterical among us.

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Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.

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