Someday, Trump will no longer be president—whether it’s because he loses next year’s election, or he gets removed for being a criminal, or he gets removed for being utterly incompetent, or he names himself as the new God-King Of America and appoints one of his idiot children as the new president—and it sounds like he and famous TV producer/megalomaniac enabler Mark Burnett are already cooking up his return to reality TV. According to The Daily Beast, Trump and Burnett occasionally still talk and have “kicked around” some new ideas for things he can do after he leaves office (however that happens), including an Apprentice revival tentatively titled The Apprentice: White House that will be “explicitly politics-themed and take full advantage of Trump’s status as a former president of the United States and a newfound Republican kingmaker.”
Sorry for the page break, there’s just so much blood coming out of our eyes after seeing the fucking nightmare thing we just wrote. Really, if Trump is a “Republican kingmaker” and we’re envisioning a world where that’s just a normal thing and we accept as part of his résumé, then we are all fucked. We’ll be too busy killing each other for water in the global warming-ravaged wasteland of the former United States to worry about what to watch on television. (Luckily there will still be a need for internet pop culture writers who can rank the best makeshift spears and machetes or offer witty commentary on the ongoing war between the surviving humans and the actual MAGA C.H.U.D.s.)
Anyway, we don’t know how real these supposed talks between Trump and Burnett have been, and a spokesperson for Burnett denies that he and Trump have made any plans, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Burnett never showed any hesitancy to work with Trump before, and there were rumors before the election in 2016 that Trump was ready to launch a TV network in the event he lost, so he probably still has some interest in going back to the days when he could just be famous for being on TV and nobody got mad at him for constantly playing golf and antagonizing world leaders. Plus, he’ll have all the money he scammed out of the federal government by holding events at his stupid resorts, so it’ll be much more fun for him.