You know when a friend is in the midst of making a potentially horrible decision that would not only embarrass them but also have a negative impact on their most valued relationships? And you see this happening, and you really want to stop it before other people start saying shit they can’t take back, like, “Maybe that virgin Christopher Nolan was right.” That’s HBO right now. And while there is admittedly a tiny chance that this won’t be very bad, it is nonetheless difficult to accept Variety’s news that the company is developing a reboot of True Blood—a show that was a fun little piece of trash for a couple of seasons before going off the soapy rails and straight into Stupid Town. Given that the reboot is in “early” development, it’s totally not too late to kill it and walk away without making a whole Thing of it. And yet.
Any hope for this reboot to not suck (heh) lies with writers and executive producers Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and Jami O’Brien. Aguirre-Sacasa is responsible for the delicious soapy teen trash that is Riverdale and its superior quasi-spin-off, The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina (gone too soon); to say that he excels at this sort of stuff is an understatement. See also: Literally every batshit thing that has happened on Riverdale, including Archie surviving a bear attack, moonlighting as a boxer, and becoming a violent vigilante—to say nothing of Betty’s serial killer father and Veronica’s weird-ass and wildly successful speakeasy. THESE KIDS ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL THOUGH.
O’Brien, meanwhile, was the showrunner and executive producer of NOS4A2 (vampires! She knows ’em!), and her writing credits include Flesh And Bone and Fear The Walking Dead. Still, mounting a reboot of True Blood is an incredibly stupid and senseless risk and one we cannot advocate. Godspeed, you crazy kids, and don’t say we didn’t warn you.