Before human teardrop Bradley Cooper is doomed to walk the night in The Crow reboot, he may well confront his innermost demons for original Crow director Alex Proyas, whose 3-D “aerial warfare”-heavy adaptation of Paradise Lost requires a Lucifer so epically evil, so internally tormented, he could only be played by Ryan Reynolds Bradley Cooper. Although Variety cautions that negotiations have not officially begun, Cooper is said to be eagerly pursuing the part—or, as eagerly as any man can pursue any hollow end when inside his mind it is always raining, always writhing—hoping to crack his cocky smirk and reveal at last that it has always been but a grim death mask. Do you know lost happiness? Do you know lasting pain? Do you know it as Bradley Cooper knows it through his baleful eyes and wrathful tan? Soon, perhaps, you too will be cast down into the fires, where you and Bradley Cooper will share in the curse of being shunned, pale and dreadful, from Heaven’s light, while you are attacked by 3-D angel-planes.