In casting One Shot, their adaptation of Lee Child’s Jack Reacher series about a six-foot-five, 250-pound, ex-military man drifter who solves with his beefy fists any lingering problems his intimidating size hasn’t already eradicated, naturally Paramount Pictures and Skydance Productions can see only one man: Tom Cruise, who apparently will undergo a radical surgical procedure to have his own mental body image removed then anthropomorphized to play the part. The role has actually been a pet cause of Cruise’s Napoleon complex for several years now, and with director Christopher McQuarrie (who worked with Cruise on Valkyrie) shepherding the project, it’s now close to being a reality, with Cruise possibly making it before Oblivion begins shooting in January.

For what it’s worth, Child himself is “excited” about Cruise playing the role, which is what we’d say too if we were waiting years and years for the financing to finally come through. Anyway, although this sounds like typical Hollywood miscasting, we suppose you have to give the filmmakers the benefit of the doubt. A little forced perspective, some creative supporting casting (such as having him take on a town full of children a la Bugsy Malone), Jack Reacher’s newly introduced teacup Chihuahua that accompanies him everywhere—never underestimate the magic of the movies.