Britney Spears is just living her life right now. She’s not bothering anyone. She’s just listening to Enya in her backyard, wearing crop tops and minding her own business. But, we imagine, were she to take to social media at the moment, she might be a little bemused by what she’d find, because this weekend Britney Spears simultaneously got a shoutout from a piece of garbage and retroactively became the author of the best-selling book series in history, at least in the minds of some of the fans of those books.
First up, Roger Stone (?) made a Cameo (?) in which he supported the Free Britney movement (?) and said “It’s Britney bitch” (?) while wearing a jaunty hat and a shirt that says “Roger Stone Still Did Nothing Wrong.” (Roger Stone did, in fact, do many wrong things.)
The Republican operative/convicted felon/sack of shit is apparently on Cameo, and somehow people are ordering Cameos from him (h/t Boing-Boing). Maybe it’s because they like hats? Whether or not this is Stone’s real opinion on the conservatorship that has placed her father in charge of her finances and much of the rest of her life since 2008 is unclear—someone obviously paid for this and asked Stone to send a message to “Britney Spears and the Free Britney movement,” though he does say he wants to “throw his support behind the Free Britney movement.” We at The A.V. Club would like to humbly suggest that Stone leave Britney alone.
Meanwhile, somewhere, Britney Spears is probably twirling in her living room, just doing her thing, maybe celebrating the fact that a bonus track from her 2016 album Glory is now a hit.
In other strange Britney Spears news—did you know she secretly wrote the Harry Potter series under the pen name J.K. Rowling?
Here she is signing her record-shattering series about The Boy Who Lived.
She also invented socialism.
Seriously, it is known.
It’s been 20 years since “Oops! I Did It Again” (NASA sent Britney a gift to mark the occasion) and somehow Britney is more influential than ever. That is just so typically her.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org