In a move that puts us one step closer to becoming fat, phone-mashing, fart producers, Domino’s will now accept orders via tweets containing just the pizza emoji. Users with an online Domino’s Profile can simply roll over in their home-based hospital beds, use a breadstick-sized finger to tweet the pizza emoji at @Dominos, and a hot, semi-edible Domino’s “pizza” will arrive via delivery shortly thereafter. The program starts May 20, with Domino’s CEO Patrick Doyle telling USA Today that, by whittling the pizza ordering process down to a tight five seconds, the brand hopes to become the “epitome of convenience,” lest normally food gathering be too complicated for its customers. There’s no end date to the program, but with pizza ordering made so easy, it can’t last forever. Everyone’s got to die someday.
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