Ghoul afternoon, kiddies! Why, what’s the matter? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!
(A moaning disembodied spirit floats in front of the Cryptkeeper’s face; he smacks it away with a flyswatter)
What, you thought that dead-line meant that your old pal The Cryptkeeper would be silent as the grave? HA! Unlike TNT president Kevin Reilly—who justified his die-cision to kill off my show by saying, “We lost so much time, so I said, ‘Look, I’m not waiting around four years for this thing’”—I’ve got slay-tience to spare. I’ve been dead since before your grandparents were in die-pers, kiddies, and TNT’s decision to pull the plug on its 21st-scare-tury re-boo-t of my terror tales can’t evict ME from my home scream home!
TNT may be DOA, but I’ll be right here, kiddies, waiting for the next ghoulish filmmaker to come along and attempt to revive Tales From The Crypt! Until then…or until somebody sorts out the screaming rights…I’ll see you in your fright-mares! AHhahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!