If Rudy Giuliani was still in touch with whatever crumbs of humanity must still exist in the dark corners of his withered soul, the last few weeks of public humiliation would’ve sent him into hiding. Not content to be filmed trying to take his dick out in front of a woman he thought was a journalist in the Borat sequel and helping create a “voter fraud” hotline overrun by pranksters, Giuliani also ended up hosting a press conference in the parking lot of noted non-hotel, Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
The last of these—the gorgeous moment when Giuliani’s team took to the podium in front of a now-infamous garage door plastered with Trump 2020 signs—has now been memorialized in song by Tim Heidecker.
“Rudy At The 4 Seasons” is an ode to Giuliani ending up, thanks to a perfect storm of ineptitude, at the parking lot of a landscaping company situated conveniently between a sex shop and crematorium. “Standing out in front with a pile of manure, spitting out lies that belong in the sewer,” Heidecker sings. “All while your boss is swinging his head in the sand, he sends you out to make one last stand / You thought you were headed to a four star hotel just a couple of miles from the Liberty Bell.”
The chorus, a falsetto ear worm asking “Rudy, what you gonna do now?” soon gives way to an emotional outro about trying to “find someplace that isn’t next to a dildo store” for the next conference.
Heidecker also tweeted a work-in-progress on Sunday, complete with one of his children popping in to echo the chorus. Even in its early stage, listeners can appreciate that Heidecker has identified the perfect musical genre to capture the spirit of the Trump team these days: Impassioned piano ballads about being publicly shamed.
For another example, consider Nick Lutsko’s tortured portrait of Trump reckoning with his defeat. Clearly, this is the music of the current moment.
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