In a realization of many a man’s teenage fantasies circa 1987, once-rival pop stars Tiffany and Debbie Gibson are due to finally settle their decades-old score on the set of Syfy original movie Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid—though sadly, not in the title roles. Instead, Gibson has been cast as “a fanatical animal-rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores,” while Tiffany will play “an overzealous park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators.” While on paper these two would seem to have the same overall mission, just different approaches to the problem, the characters are apparently bitterly opposed to the point where they will “brawl at a party, then take matters outside into the swamp,” where Electric Youth will finally face off against The Beautiful You, and shopping mall fountains will explode in great arterial geysers of long-bubbling bad blood.

The standoff was reportedly inspired by the former singers themselves, who wanted to take their “perceived rivalry” and “have some fun with it” in the spirit of Dynasty’s legendary Joan Collins/Linda Evans catfight—which Syfy executive vice-president of programming Thomas Vitale says he’s recreating “for a new generation.” Tiffany and Gibson have most recently fought each other for the Cher role in a musical version of Mask and by seeing who could first exploit their faded fame with a Playboy pictorial. (Advantage: Tiffany.) As always, the real winners in this “epic battle” are the American people.

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