Because if we had to see it, so do you.
A ventriloquist doll made to look exactly like Timothée Chalamet is currently up for sale on eBay, and it is both miraculous and shiver-inducing. Don’t get us wrong: Chalamet is a perpetual joy. Given his near-effortless charm, talent, and killer fashion sense, who wouldn’t feel inspired to create a doll in his likeness? But there is so much middle ground between “inspiration” and “unleashing unto an unprepared public,” and we can’t help but wonder if the (very gifted, we have to say) artist considered that before creating what we will dub “Ventriloquist Timothy Doll-amet.” Here, look at it:
Doll-amet is currently up for auction for the super reasonable bargain of $122,795.00. Owning this tiny, impeccable recreation of Chamalet’s Loius Vuitton harness from February’s Golden Globes ceremony might actually be worth the hefty price tag, but is the buyer also prepared for this little guy to gain possession of all of their secrets? Because the second they look into its eyes, they’re fucked.
To be clear: The doll’s creepiness does not negate the accuracy of the craftsmanship. It’s very easy to tell who this doll is supposed to be, unlike certain professionally-made wax figures that are allegedly meant to resemble Ariana Grande. And the doll comes with a good cause: Per eBay, 20% of the proceeds from the sale will be donated to The Trevor Project, a non-profit non-profit that focuses on suicide prevention for LGBTQ+ youth. So a new home for Doll-amet would actually be a very positive thing. It’s still unsettling, though.